Disability Etiquette: Fostering Respect and Inclusion

Disability Etiquette: Fostering Respect and Inclusion
“Normal people and disabled people.”
I still hear this distinction from friends and acquaintances, and while I know they don’t mean any harm, the impact of these words can be profound. Using terms like “normal people” implies that those with disabilities are somehow abnormal, which isn’t true and can be deeply hurtful. This reflects a broader lack of awareness and sensitivity around how we speak about people with disabilities.
When I was younger, I didn’t understand much about disability etiquette either. My sister, who has a hearing disability, would often be asked if she was “deaf and mentally ill too.” This kind of language always felt harsh and ignorant, and sadly, it has been normalized in many cultures.
It’s time for change.
Language shapes how we see the world, and the words we use can either promote inclusion or reinforce harmful stereotypes. While there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to language, there are some general guidelines we can follow to create more respectful and inclusive interactions with people with disabilities. Some prefer People First Language, which emphasizes their individuality beyond their disability, while others favor Identity First Language, where the disability is recognized as a key part of who they are. But before that lets first understand what is Disability etiquette.
What is Disability Etiquette?
Disability etiquette refers to the practices and attitudes we adopt to communicate and interact with people with disabilities in a way that is inclusive and respectful. It’s not just about using the right words; it’s about recognizing the dignity and autonomy of individuals, being mindful of their needs, and fostering genuine connections.
Key Guidelines for Disability Etiquette in Personal Interactions:
- Speak Directly to the Person:
- Address the person, not their companion, regardless of their disability.
- Engaging directly acknowledges their autonomy and shows respect.
- Avoid Assumptions About Abilities:
- Each person is unique; don’t assume someone’s abilities based on their disability.
- If unsure, ask politely rather than presuming what they can or cannot do.
- Offer Assistance, Wait for Acceptance:
- Offer help, but wait for them to accept before acting.
- Respect their preferences if they decline assistance or give specific instructions.
- Respect Personal Space:
- Avoid touching wheelchairs, mobility aids, or service animals without permission.
- Refrain from distracting service animals while they are working.
- Listen Attentively to Those with Speech Impairments:
- Be patient, allowing them time to finish speaking.
- Ask for clarification if needed, but avoid interrupting or rushing them.
- Position Yourself at Eye Level:
- When speaking to someone in a wheelchair, sit or kneel to maintain eye contact comfortably.
- Adjusting your posture shows you value the conversation.
- Ask About Preferences:
- If unsure how someone prefers to be addressed or what terminology to use, politely ask.
- Open communication shows respect and a willingness to learn.
- Focus on the Person, Not the Disability:
- Use person-first language, such as “person with a disability,” rather than labeling them by their disability.
- Treat everyone as individuals, recognizing their diverse experiences and needs.
- Communicate Clearly and Directly:
- Use simple, clear language and avoid jargon.
- Speak at a normal volume unless asked to adjust it.
- Be Patient and Understanding:
- Allow extra time for tasks or communication if needed.
- Show empathy and understanding of the unique challenges people with disabilities may face.
- Respect Privacy:
- Avoid asking intrusive questions about their disability unless it’s relevant to the situation.
- Respect personal boundaries, avoiding touch without permission.
- Use Inclusive Language:
- Avoid negative or disempowering phrases, such as “confined to a wheelchair”; instead, say “uses a wheelchair.”
- Choose words that reflect respect and dignity.
- Promote Accessibility:
- Support and encourage accessibility in public spaces, online platforms, and your interactions.
- Advocate for inclusivity wherever possible.
- Educate Yourself:
- Continuously learn about different disabilities and the challenges faced by people with disabilities.
- Stay open to growth and improvement in your interactions with the disabled community.
People First Language vs. Identity First Language
Two main approaches to disability terminology are often discussed: People First Language and Identity First Language.
- People First Language emphasizes the individual before the disability, such as “a person with a disability” instead of “a disabled person.” This approach, often recommended by international conventions like the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (UNCRPD), seeks to avoid labeling and to reduce stigma. Example: “A person with autism.”
- Identity First Language, on the other hand, recognizes that disability can be a central and positive part of a person’s identity. Many in the Deaf, Blind, and Autistic communities embrace this language as a form of empowerment. Example: “An autistic person.”
Both approaches aim to show respect, but what’s most important is listening to and honoring the individual’s personal preference. In conversations, it’s always a good idea to ask which form of language someone prefers, as it can vary across different communities and cultures.
Cultural Considerations in Language
In different parts of the world, people approach disability language differently. For example, in India, from what I’ve observed, People First Language is more commonly accepted. However, cultural context matters, and what’s appropriate in one region might not be in another.
It’s also important to note that not everyone with a disability identifies as being “disabled.” Some individuals only feel their disability in specific contexts, like when they face barriers in communication or mobility. Others, especially in Deaf or Blind communities, take pride in their identity as part of a distinct cultural group. Assumptions are never helpful, so it’s best to ask respectfully.
Breaking Down Stereotypes
Disability etiquette goes beyond language—it’s about how we treat people with disabilities in everyday life. People with disabilities don’t exist to educate others on disability issues. They are living their lives like anyone else. It’s crucial to treat them as individuals, not as representatives of their disability.
If you’re not sure how to behave or what to say, remember this simple rule: Ask, don’t assume. Whether it’s offering help or choosing the right terminology, a polite question can open the door to mutual respect and understanding.
Respect in Practice: Examples of Disability Etiquette
- When meeting someone who is visually impaired, always identify yourself and others who are with you. Describe your actions if necessary, such as when you’re leaving the room.
- To get the attention of someone who is Deaf, tap them gently on the shoulder or wave. Face them directly and ensure your mouth is visible if they lip-read.
- Never pretend to understand if you are having trouble following someone with a speech impairment. It’s better to ask them to repeat themselves than to guess incorrectly or move on.
- Treat adults as adults, no matter their disability. Avoid patronizing behavior like patting someone on the head or using a tone that implies they are less capable.
In Conclusion
Ultimately, disability etiquette is about respect—respect for the individual, their autonomy, and their identity. The key principle here is “nothing about us, without us”—the idea that people with disabilities should have a voice in decisions, language, and actions that affect them. This can start with something as simple as asking, “How would you like me to refer to you?”
By adopting inclusive language and behavior, we can help create a world where people with disabilities feel respected, understood, and fully included in all aspects of life.
Let’s continue to learn, adapt, and make efforts to include everyone in a way that honors their identity, dignity, and cultural context.
Understanding Disability Etiquette: Do’s and Don’ts
Communication Etiquette
Do:
- Speak directly to the person with a disability, not their companion or interpreter.
- Use appropriate language by saying “person with a disability” instead of “disabled person.” People-first language puts the individual before the condition.
- Ask before offering assistance. It’s respectful to ask, “May I help you?” instead of assuming that assistance is needed.
Don’t:
- Avoid talking down to someone in a wheelchair or bending down to talk to them. Speak at a natural height and maintain eye contact.
- Never shout or over-enunciate your words to people with hearing impairments unless they ask you to speak up. Instead, speak clearly and at a normal volume.
- Don’t assume that a person with a disability wants or needs help with every task. Offer help only when asked or when it’s clear that it’s needed.
Physical and Mobility Etiquette
Do:
- Respect personal space and avoid touching mobility aids such as wheelchairs, canes, or walkers without permission. These are part of their personal space.
- Give extra time for movement or completing tasks, such as crossing the street or using public transportation.
- Ensure accessibility by making sure that paths are clear and there’s enough room for mobility devices to pass.
Don’t:
- Never push a wheelchair without asking the person first. They may want to maintain their independence.
- Don’t park in accessible parking spaces if you do not have a disability. These spaces are reserved for those who need them for easier access.
- Avoid assuming that a person using a mobility aid always needs physical help. Always ask before assisting.
Visual Impairment Etiquette
Do:
- Identify yourself when speaking to a person who is blind or has low vision. This helps them know who they are speaking to.
- Offer to read information aloud when necessary, or guide them with clear verbal instructions.
- Allow the person to take your arm if they need assistance. This gives them more control.
Don’t:
- Never grab or push a person who is blind or visually impaired without asking. This can be disorienting.
- Don’t leave without informing the person. Let them know if you’re stepping away to avoid confusion.
- Avoid petting guide dogs or service animals without permission. These animals are working, and distractions could interfere with their task.
Hearing Impairment Etiquette
Do:
- Get the person’s attention before speaking, either by waving, tapping gently, or using visual cues.
- Face the person directly and maintain eye contact so they can read your lips or facial expressions.
- Use gestures or written notes if verbal communication is difficult.
Don’t:
- Avoid covering your mouth or turning your face away while speaking, as this makes lip-reading difficult.
- Don’t speak excessively slowly. Speak clearly but at a normal pace, unless asked otherwise.
- Don’t assume everyone who is deaf can read lips or prefers sign language. Communication preferences can vary.
Cognitive and Developmental Disabilities Etiquette
Do:
- Be patient and give extra time for the person to process information or respond to questions.
- Simplify instructions or break tasks into smaller steps if needed.
- Listen attentively and respect their perspective. Engage them in conversations as you would with anyone else.
Don’t:
- Avoid interrupting or finishing their sentences. Let the person speak at their own pace.
- Don’t use baby talk or patronizing tones. Speak to them in an adult and respectful manner.
- Don’t assume that cognitive or developmental disabilities limit a person’s capacity to make decisions.
Disability Etiquette in the Workplace
Do:
- Ensure workplace accessibility by providing ramps, accessible restrooms, and assistive technologies, such as screen readers.
- Promote inclusive language and avoid using outdated or offensive terms like “handicapped.”
- Foster a culture of inclusion by training staff on disability awareness and etiquette.
Don’t:
- Avoid making assumptions about a person’s abilities based solely on their disability. They may be perfectly capable of performing their job tasks with or without accommodations.
- Don’t exclude people with disabilities from events, meetings, or social activities. Make sure everyone can participate, either through physical accommodations or accessible communication methods.
- Avoid singling out employees with disabilities by offering them help publicly without being asked.
Disability Etiquette in Public Spaces
Do:
- Be mindful of accessible paths and avoid blocking ramps, doorways, or other areas designed for wheelchair or mobility access.
- Use captions and transcripts for video content and ensure websites are accessible for people with disabilities, including those with visual impairments.
- Promote universal design in public spaces so that everyone, regardless of ability, can use facilities and services comfortably.
Don’t:
- Don’t stare or treat people with disabilities as if they are spectacles. They deserve the same privacy and respect as anyone else.
- Avoid making assumptions about a person’s disability based on appearance. Disabilities can be invisible, and not every disability is easily recognizable.
- Don’t move assistive devices such as wheelchairs, crutches, or walkers without the person’s permission.
Related Reads
- Disability Etiquette – A Starting Guide by Disability IN
- Disability etiquette by Office for Disability Issues
- 15 Disability Etiquette Basics by Accessibility.com
- Writing Respectfully: Person-First and Identity-First Language by National Institute of Health